“A man wielding a knife broke into a primary school in southern China and stabbed 18 pupils and a teacher Wednesday, the same day another man was executed for killing eight children in a similar attack last month.”—WHAT THE FUCK, CHINA?
“I want to tell you about an epidemic that’s prevalent in Beverly Hills right now. It’s a buildup of cocaine residue around the cervix and in the vagina. You have it. Are you doing drugs?”—This whole day is fucked. So let’s just dive right in!