Jackson dies, almost takes Internet with him - CNN
In which we are all TMZ
The manner in which media outlets choose to cover celebrity deaths is exhausting and depressing. Though personally I find the fascination with the minutiae of his passing morbid, I understand the impact the death of a figure like Michael Jackson has on the world. His influence is not lost on me. But the rabid pace with which news centres feel they have to keep posting items, even when...
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It’s like I’m hugging the world, but with advice! This week’s column tackles some of life’s really big questions. As always, you can send questions to: email@example.com
Oh no big deal, some common lake bacteria is eating this boy alive. He’s just lost part of his nose and five teeth. Whatever. [WHY ARE YOU TURNING MY NIGHTMARES INTO NEWS, CNN?]
Oh no. Look at all those fucking cats. These ladies are totally bumming me out! Except for the one that sits in a cage the entire trailer talking about how she’s really sane. She’s awesome. [Just kidding she’s still crazy. Remember that documentary about people who sexually love objects? That was less sad because cats have feelings.]
Truest spam of the day.
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Whatever, funniest movie review ever. →
Look at these quotes from Roger Ebert on the new Transformers movie. I would watch a movie of him just saying shit about other shit. Believe it. “The human actors are in a witless sitcom part of the time, and lot of the rest of their time is spent running in slo-mo away from explosions, although—hello!—you can’t outrun an explosion.” [So true, Roger, SO TRUE] ...
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Best advice yet. Go to it. Learn from it. Send questions to: firstname.lastname@example.org
oh. my. god. what is even the best joke here? jay leno fans? fox news watchers? crazy ladies from the future who call people verbal pedophiles? america is your boyfriend.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I’m basically just re-watching this show every night. So many lots of laughs. Never forget.
BOOM goes the face tattoo! Did you see the guy who tattooed her? That constellation on her face seems pretty modest compared to his full-body goof.
Do you love awkward music metaphors?
I was going to cover NXNE for Onlymagazine.ca but I’m going to the beach instead. SO, if you live in Toronto and want to be going to so many shows for free and then writing about them, email me. There’s no pay, it’s a recession dummy! But you’ll get a media pass and access to the entire festival. In return, we’ll need daily reviews with photos. And don’t be...
35 creepiest "Are You Afraid of the Dark"... →
Posting this for my sisters. Pretty much our favourite show. We tried to start our own “Midnight Society” but we were too scared to do it outside so it wasn’t very good. Plus our ghost stories were retarded and both times the whole thing ended with someone getting hit with a flashlight. Which was obviously hilarious, but not very spooky.
Pink Mountaintops: While We Were Dreaming