June 2008
Apocalypse now?
Thanks to Chuck, K has gone full-tilt on apocalypse scenarios and peak oil - leading to the ever-important discussion of strategacolypse.
I’m pro-underground. I think hiding in a bunker until everyone kills everyone else and then re-emerging to rebuild society is the best way to survive. (This is a non-zombie scenario obvi.)
K thinks you should tape machetes to your hands and phone books...
Friday spam alert!
What a stupid face you have here amil.niazi
Enter my fantasy chamber
Ah vanity and poor spelling. You know me so well spam!
WatchK never cries, and only two films have moved him to tears 1)Armageddon and 2)Best of the Best. Must be some kind of “guy” thing. Also, this is the most heartmelting thing I’ve seen all year.
chuckmore:
Man I must be in really rough shape or something without even knowing it. Seriously, I almost started crying when I watched this video… Or maybe I just secretly loved Armageddon?
Chinese high school (with B.C. certification)... →
Ageing hipsters, annoying hippies, apathetic 20-somethings and lululemon-clad butts not included.
Oh and also: that’s fucking NUTS.
EEEW elegant single ladies in Toronto beware! →
DIY Yahoo! Resignation Letter →
(via standardgrey)
HA!
Overheard on the police scanner at work
Dispatcher: “Be on the alert for a tall male, dark jeans, dark shirt carrying a large bottle of wine.”
Consider me on extremely high alert.
A conversation in two parts
Elaine: What the frock, Amil. I sense a neo-Victorian agenda being shoved down my throat? Are we short on babies and traditional families? Are they gearing us up for World War 3?
Me: It's the Sex and the City backlash. Stop crowing and start crowning (as in your baby's head coming out of your vagina - the vagina that's too stretched out from having babies to have sex)
Leave us alone Globe and Mail Life Section, we don't need your shit.
Almost makes me wish I had a baby to abort in protest.
(hahahahha OH MY GOD JUST KIDDING.)
“Jakob Lodwick, the entrepreneur who still takes Ayn Rand seriously even though...”
– From Gawker and seriously - still takes Ayn Rand seriously even though he presumably graduated high school - so fucking true. Really, Ayn Rand? Gimme a fucking break.
See Werner Herzog eat his shoe →
Because obviously.
Neave Television →
Just click and watch hours of random television. It’s amazing and also you will not get any work done because you found the channel that shows people eating pizza and it’s really hard not to watch.
You're making it too easy
Do you want to be a guinea pig? - CNN headline
That bit of headline news is currently featured alongside such actual news as “Several insurgents’ killed in Afghan fighting” but also such other not news as “John McCain is aware of the Internet”
Are all dwarfs HORRIBLE kissers? →
I’m not going to watch this only because the still on Gawker is enough to make me barf.
chuckmore:
This gets you right in the gut.
Things never to say at work
A magazine called Diversity Inc published a bunch of things never to say in an office to certain people. It’s pretty amazing to imagine their readership if an average reader is thinking, “Damn, why did I ask the new black guy at work if he’s in a gang? I wish I had this list sooner.”
Things NEVER to say to people with disabilities:
- Were you born that way?
(Amil note:...
Gawker's 5 tips for managing 20-something workers
I couldn’t agree more.
Food: Can we get some free food up in here?
Shut Up: Dude, you are old and we already know how to do this stupid job, so please just shut up.
Don’t Sweat It: Don’t sweat it, man. We got it all under control. Don’t freak out.
Money: Pay us more, why don’t you?
Work: It totally sucks. Nothing you can do about it. Sorry.
Holy shit you guys someone is killing dogs and... →
Serial killer ALERT.
Visions of the future
One of my favourite moments this weekend was watching Chuck and K talk about living through the apocalypse.
K’s already starting to collect machetes to tape onto his hands, you know, just in case.
Exactly why I Know Who Killed Me was the worst... →
Country ham
Spotted this weekend whilst driving to New York:
25 deer (living)
8 dead deer
2 groundhogs (living)
1 dead fox
1 dead racoon
1 dead vulture
Shit load of frogs
Shit load also of tadpoles
1 Robin’s nest
Finally, let the healing begin
jessicacoen:
Andrew 1: Knock knock. New York: Who’s there? Andrew 1: 9/11 New York: 9/11 who? Andrew 1: You said you’d never forget.
See? It’s not too soon anymore. Great news.
[via]
ZOMG Another Foot!
Man, Vancouver is so lucky to have a mystery of such epic proportions washing up on their very shores!
(No offense to the footless obvi)
Somebody get Horatio Cane on the case.
elainecorden:
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/british-columbia/story/2008/06/18/bc-sixth-foot-found.html
Azureus is Dead, Vuze Goes Social →
What the fuck is this supposed to mean Cam?
I am the gatekeeper, are you the keymaster?
ZUUL!
(via Cam Reed)
Put this in your ass-hat and get it to commit to...
I love Google ads in my Gmail. They’re usually full of gleeful surprises. Not so much today when this showed up at the top of my screen:
How to Keep a Man in Love: Catch him and keep him
If You’re Ready To Attract The Right Man And Get Him To Commit To You…
Every week I share real secrets about men, how they think, and how to get more from your...
The reason I wake up in the morning... →
HOLY SHIT Cam, I too am a mega-fan of the Magic Bullet and also every single thing in the As Seen On TV store. Seriously. MAGIC PUTTY ALERT!
(via cameronr)
The internet wins AGAIN
Okay fuck, I don’t want to do this, but I can’t help it.
“I want to submit a panel idea for 2009’s SXSW. Who has suggestions (for either ideas or other panelists)? Reply @juliaallison!” - From Julia Allison’s Twitter
What the gay fuck? You can’t want to submit an idea for a panel and then ask other people for panel ideas. That’s like saying, I...
WatchHere assholes, think about your own mortality while you piss the day away.
WatchI will readily admit to having seen Transporter 1 and 2 but what the fuck is going on with this movie? SO MANY QUESTIONS. SO MANY LOGICAL HOLES!
“Ethnic Chinese in South Africa want to be reclassified as ‘black’”
– BBC Headline
